Lyrics

Super Tree

She’s a nine foot Fraiser Fur
The kind you will take home for Santa
She will never let your spirits down
Once you cut her off the stump (ohh, tree)

She likes the presents with the bows
And lots and lots of decorations
When Santa’s presents in her room it’s the right time
She’s a very lit up tree

That girl was in the wild now (the girl’s a super tree)
The kind of tree you read about (in Christmas magazines)
That sap is pretty sticky (the girl’s a super tree)
The tinsel’s all around her (every day of the week)
She’s so bright, perfect height
She’s the perfect height for me
Yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey

She’s a super tree, super tree
A Christmas tree, yow
Everybody sing
Super tree, super tree

She’s a nine foot Fraiser Fur (the kind the farms love to grow)
You would never find her on sale (grab her and retreat, yeah)
And none of her branches ever are stems
Lush and pristine (her lights are shining bright)
Not a branch on her with no frizz (handsaw, ooh la la)
She’s the Queen of bud-bursting
In the morning she’s got presents, twine and candles
It’s a Christmas scene

That girl is really sticky (that girl’s a super tree)
The kind of tree you read about (in Christmas magazines)
That girl was in the wild, now (she’s Christmas tree)
I’d really like to take her (from the lot on the street)
She’s so bright, perfect height
She’s the perfect height for me
Yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey

She’s a super tree, super tree
A Christmas tree, yow

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho

Super tree, super tree
That girl a Christmas tree

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho

She’s a nine foot Fraiser Fur
The kind you will take home for Santa
She will never let your spirits down
She’ll make your bulbs overheat

Oh, tree

Yule Log

Lights go out on the ill-behaved
Yule tides they tried to swim against
Have brought him down the chimneys
Oh the presents that they need, seein’
On the roof, a Christmas sled
Shooting out of my bed
I’m in trouble, but can’t be shamed
Presents waiting to be claimed, seein’

Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG
Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG

Cool new drone and toy robots
He filled all our Christmas socks
He was right here, in our home
I was not sure, but now I know
He’s gone now, ooh what a tease
Curse missed opportunities
Am I one of the pure
Or am I naughty, sinnin’

Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG
Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG
Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG
Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG

Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG
Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG

And I can’t go back upstairs
Ohh yes I can’t go back upstairs
And I can’t go back upstairs

Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG
Yuuuuuuuuuuullllllee LOG

Home, home, where did he go?
Home, home, where did he go?
Home, home, where did he go?
Home, home, where did he go?

Take Me Home, Santa Clause

Almost Christmas, West Virginia
Christmas mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, old like Christmas trees
Younger than Santa, riding on the breeze

Santa Clause
Take me home
To the place
With a Christmas tree
Merry Christmas
In December
Take me home
Santa Clause

Christmas memories, lots of reindeer
Milk and cookies, laid out on a platter
Big and jolly, he’s a Christmas guy
Milky milky cookies, twinkle in his eye

Santa Clause
Take me home
To the place
With a Christmas tree
Merry Christmas
In December
Take me home
Santa Clause

I hear his voice in the morning hour, he calls me
The ho-ho-ho reminds me of my home so far away
Drivin’ down the road, I get a feelin’
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

(Chorus)

Accidentally In Gloves

So she said, “What’s the problem, baby?”
Well, the problem’s not the snow
No, baby, it’s my gloves (gloves)
Sick about it every time
I think about it
Can’t stop tugging at it

How much longer till I can cure this?
Just to cure it ‘cause I can’t ignore it ‘cause it’s gloves (gloves)
Makes me wanna pull ‘em off and be free
But I don’t know nothing ‘bout gloves, oh

Come on, come on
Pull a little faster
Come on, come on
It feels like they’re in plaster
Come on, come on
Just help me get off my gloves

So I said “These gloves are stuckin’”
Stuckin’ from this ice that froze onto my gloves
Meltin’ under blue skies
Reaching up for sunlight
Stuck in my gloves

Well, baby, I surrender
to the peppermint hand cream
Never ever let me put on my gloves
Well, I didn’t mean to do it
But there’s no escaping these gloves, oh
These lines of stitching mean
I’m never alone
Never alone, no, no

Come on, come on
Move a little closer
Come on, come on
I need to use a toaster
Come on, come on
Settle down inside my gloves, oh

Come on, come on
Tug a little higher
Come on, come on
Hope your fingers start a fire
Come on, come on
You were once upon a time in gloves
I’m accidentally in gloves

Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally in gloves
Accidentally
I’m in gloves, I’m in gloves
I’m in gloves, I’m in gloves
I’m in gloves, I’m in gloves
Accidentally
I’m in gloves, I’m in gloves
I’m in gloves, I’m in gloves
I’m in gloves, I’m in gloves
Accidentally

Come on, come on
Feel like I’m a fighter
Come on, come on
Ohh, I think they’re getting tighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself outside your
Gloves

Just With Santa Clause

I hear the Christmas snowflakes fall
And the Christmas of it all
Is when the tree comes shining through
To make it Christmas in my mind
I think of Santa all the time
Hey, I wanna spend some time with you

Just with Santa Clause
We can make it Christmas time
Just with Santa Clause
Christmas time
Just with Santa Clause
Building trees up in the sky
Just with Santa Clause
Christmas time

Christmas trees don’t like tears
Wasted water’s all that is
And it don’t make no needles grow
Presents come to those who wait
Not for those who sleep too late
Santa knows all we know

Just with Santa Clause
We can make it Christmas time
Just with Santa Clause
Christmas time
Just with Santa Clause
Building trees up in the sky
Just with Santa Clause
Christmas time

Just with Santa Clause
We can make it, just with Santa Clause
(x8)

(Jazz solo)

I hear Santa’s footsteps fall
On the roof and down the hall
Around the trees and cookies too
And Santa when the morning comes
And I see the Christmas sun
I wanna be the one with you

(Chorus)

Without Me

Santa Clause, real name, no gimmicks

Two candy cane swirls go round the outside
Round the outside, round the outside
Two candy cane swirls go round the outside
Round the outside, round the outside

Guess who’s back, back again
Santa’s back, tell a friend
Santa’s back, Santa’s back
Santa’s back, Santa’s back
Santa’s back, Santa’s back
Santa’s back
(Ho-ho-ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho…)

I’m red like a lobster
And nobody wants Chris Cringle no more,
They want Santa The gift giver
Well, if you want Santa, this is what I’ll give ya
A little Christmas tree mixed with some hot liqueur
Some milk and cookies will make me fart quicker
Than a rock or a knock at the plate of peanut brittle
By a child while I’m operating
When I’m rocking the tree while I’m decorating
You waited all night with cookie baiting
Now I’m back, drinking coke and ice skating
I know that you wanna pretend to be me
But your father’s cosplay is aggravating
So the CPP won’t let me be
Awake or asleep, yeah I can see
You say all you need is a Christmas tree
But it feels so empty without me
So c’mon dip, cookies and crisps
Put that milk on your mouth and give it some sips
And get ready ‘cause all these presents are heavy
I got snow all over my boots
Like a Yeti!

Now this looks like a job for me,
So everybody, give me a cookie
’Cause we need presents under the tree
’Cause it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody give me a cookie
’Cause we need presents under the tree
’Cause it feels so empty without me

Little Hellions, kids feeling rebellious
Embarrassed, their shelf still looking so elvish
They start feeling like their parent could care less
’Til I bring a sack and attach it to my hitch
A visionary, Christmas is merry
There’s not a substitution, polluting the roof ways
A big elf, so just write your letters and ask
Giving so much I’m taking Jesus to class
So ask your paster
Ask him for me, who left such a mass under the tree?
Well, I’m back (na-na-na-na)
Fix your Christmas swetta
Stitch it up and them I’m gonna enter in
And up under the wool like a splinter
The center of attention and back for the winter
I’m nibbling, on what your mom’s backing
Jingle bells while my sleigh is flying
Riding on the breeze
Feel the spirit soon as someone mentions me
Fly over the fence, my presents are free
It’s true since, you sent, a letter for me

(Chorus)

A tisk-it a task-it, I’ll make this shit that shit
Anybody want me to knit a blanket?
A present hat trick, I’m a cookie addict
With my reindeer flying in vast herds
Not holy, I do all this shit solely
Your sweet wife wants to taste my aioli
You don’t know me, you’re too old, let go
It’s over, nobody dashes through my snow
Now let’s go, just give me the signal
I’ll be there, but I can’t be seen by adults
I been dope, successful and essential
Ever since I changed my name from Chris Cringle
But sometimes, my reindeer teams
Only want to pull me tree to tree
So I’m on the roof, I’m rustling
I’m often heard, but never seen, yeah
I got the magic in my genes
Everybody want me under their tree
They send me their whole damn registry
Then all of them try to catch me
(hey)
There’s a concept that works
20 million new gift lists emerge
But no matter how many gifts under the tree
It’ll be so empty without me

(Chorus)

(Ho-ho-ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho…)

Hide The gherkin

I want my, I want my Christmas tree
I want my, I want my Christmas tree
I want my, I want my Christmas tree
I want my, I want my Christmas tree

Now look at them red bows, that’s the way you do it
You put the lights up on the Christmas tree
Hide the gherkin, that’s the way you do it
Wear your Christmas clothing, get your gifts for free
Hide the gherkin, that’s the way you do it
Eat your foie gras, then chew your gum
Talk to your sister, your aunt’s new mister
Any coexister, man this shits dumb

We got to wait on hams in the ovens
Hear custom kitchen histories
Too much food in these refrigerators
I just want to look under the tree

See your uncle pour that stuff in his cup
Your grandpa in his sleepwear
Bob and Margaret are still on their plane
Dad’s getting out the good dinnerware

We got to wait on hams in the ovens
Hear custom kitchen histories
Too much food in these refrigerators
I just wanna look under the tree

Groove approv-ah

We got to wait on hams in the ovens
Hear customer kitchen histories
Too much food in these refrigerators
I just wanna look under the tree

I didn’t ask for a fancy new car
I didn’t ask for a set of drums
Look at those presents, man, someone call the anchorman
We could have some
Who wants to discuss that? President’s choices
I wanna see those presents, I’m gettin’ antsy
Oh, hide the gherkin
Got my Christmas clothing, where’s my gifts for free?

We got to wait on hams in the ovens
Hear custom kitchen histories
Too much food in these refrigerators
I just wanna look under the tree

Listen here man, just hide the gherkin, that’s the way you do it
That’s the way you do the Christmas tree
Hide the gherkin, that’s the way you do it
Wear your Christmas clothing, get your gifts for free

Hide the gherkin, Christmas tree
Hide the gherkin, Christmas tree
Hide the gherkin, gifts for free
Hide the gherkin, gifts for free

Drinkin’ My Hot Cocoa

He sits in my kitchen
Black boots it’s Santa Clause
He’s got that rosy grin
Cozy as the snow falls

He’s into decorations
Cookies in the candlelight
He goes to every nation
Every Christmas Eve night

He’ll make you take your coat off and go prancin’ down the lane
He‘ll make you live the nice list life, then give you a candy cane
Like a deer on a reign (c’mon)

It is so cold out
He’s drinkin’ my hot cocoa
He’ll sip and never frown
Drinkin’ my hot cocoa
His suit and cheeks are red
And his beard is dusted cocoa
Presents to hand out
Drinkin’ my hot cocoa
Drinkin’ my hot cocoa
He’s drinkin’ my hot cocoa

He’s not from Catholicity
He’s gonna ring your bell
He loves the art, doesn’t need the money
Writes his letters with a quill

He’ll never use a shaker, he stirs with a candy cane
He’ll decorate your Douglas Fir and let parents take the blame
He’ll fly off like a plane (c’mon)

He’ll make you take your coat off and go prancin’ down the lane
He’ll make you live the nice list life, then give you a candy cane
Like a deer on a reign (c’mon)

(Repeat)
Drinkin’ my hot cocoa
He’s drinkin’ my hot cocoa

I Want A Big Tree

I want a big tree
I want a big tree
I want a big tree in my life
With a cable that might
Just kill me
I’ve got to big tree
Santa knows, Santa knows I want a big tree

I’ve fallen in Lowe’s
I’ve fallen in Lowe’s for this big Pine
This time I know it’s for real
I’ve fallen in Lowe’s
Santa knows, Santa knows I’ve fallen in Lowe’s

Strange, but it’s true, hey
I can’t get over the way it sheds all over the room
But I have to be sure, what I shove through that door
Has to be a big tree, yeah
Oh, how I want that big tree
Oh, how I want a big tree

But lights still go on
I can’t get used to livin’ without
Livin’ without, livin’ without spruce
Inside
I don’t want to live alone
Santa knows, got to string it on my own

So, baby, can’t you see
I’ve got to big tree
I’ve got to big tree
I want a big tree, yeah

I want, I want, I want a biiiiiig tree

Summer Of Christmas Time

Got my red fur g-string
Did away with my bedtime
Got into my reindeer sled
Was the summer of Christmas time

I enrolled in Santa School
Built some toys and I tried real hard
They couldn’t fit in a bag to get carried
Should’ve known I’d never get far

Oh, when I look back now
I wasn’t Santa whatsoever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, I’d do Christmas in beachware
That was before I met my wife

Hey!

We were Santas in trainin’
Read lists till our faces were blue
Milk and cookies down at the drive-in
And that’s when I met you, yeah!

Standin’ there on Santa’s porch
I wasn’t Santa whatsoever
Oh, and when you held my hand
I knew that it was not December
That was before I met my wife

Oh, yeah
Back in the summer of Christmas time, ohh

Man, the gifts were prime
We were young and restless
Santa was so kind
I guess Santa is pretty clever
Quite clever, no!

Yeah!

And now the times are changin’
Now Christmas is a total yawn
Sometimes when I wear that old g-string
Think about when we saw Santa’s thong

Standin’ there on Santa’s porch
I wasn’t Santa whatsoever
Oh, and when you held my hand
I knew that it was not December
That was before I met my wife

Oh, yeah
Back in the summer of Christmas time, uh-huh
It was the summer of Christmas time, oh, yeah
Me and Santa, we sixty-nined, ooh, ho!

It was the summer
It was the summer we sixty-nined

Yeah!

Christmas Guy

Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if, after all these years, you’d like to meet
To go Christmas caroling
They say toys are made to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healin’
Hello, can you hear me?
I’m in The North Pole dreamin’ about milk and cookies
I got your letter. Inquiry.
I’ve forgotten how it felt before elves put toys at my feet

They put Christmas between us
And big toy piles

Hello from the Christmas guy
Can you hear my bells and chimes
I know you were naughty, and everything that you’ve done
But at Christmas, you never seem to be home
Do you know it’s Christmas time?
Do you want a reindeer ride?
I know you were naughty, it’s breaking my heart
But it don’t matter, I saw your Amazon cart. Online store.

Hello, do you have moo-moo?
I can see your without an elf on your shelf, I’m sorry
But your cookies are swell
Did you know a pout is just a frown
That’s a naughty thing that happened

I don’t really wanna make a fuss
I know it’s Christmas time

Elf, elf, elf, elf…

(Chorus)

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